I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
