I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
