I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
