I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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