I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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