At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
