it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize