trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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