Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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