Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
