It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
