Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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