We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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