He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
