I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
