Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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