no. you can't hotbox the world.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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