why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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