I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We're too hungover to prance.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize