You work out of a Hotel?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
