do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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