whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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