Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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