Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
