so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
tell me about the eggs
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
