Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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