I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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