I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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