this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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