READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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