WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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