Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
