i would punch a child for taco bell
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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