So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
