I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
