My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
