If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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