You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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