I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hippo gnu deer
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
