I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
