I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
