i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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