he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
