I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
