In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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