If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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