Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
