You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
honey bunches of taint.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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