Where did you get a picture of my penis
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
