Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
