i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
