TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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