Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
