you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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