No stitches, just platelets and will power
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
