You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
