oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
