The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
