That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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