Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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