i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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