xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Farmville is her only friend.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
