i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
